im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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