I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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