So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
