well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
