hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
