so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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