eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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