i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize