Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
