I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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