We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
