ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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