a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
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