can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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