Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
