The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
