Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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