Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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