Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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