All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
