I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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