just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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