when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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