Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
