This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Randomize
