So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
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The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
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If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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