ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
