why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
