I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Everything about him screamed your future.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
