Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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