I want to stick my p in your. b.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
