so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
