I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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