Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
