No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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