he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
