So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
