He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
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A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
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I think weed is turning my hair brown
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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