But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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