why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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