you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
