I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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