i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
