so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
