Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
