I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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