Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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