If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
