as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
