Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
from now on my penis is your penis
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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