i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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