think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
