"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
