I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
