Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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