you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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